A few years back I was at a birthday luncheon surrounded by dear friends whom I deeply love and admire. Looking forward to meaningful conversation, I posed a simple question: “What is your big, bold dream?” After a lengthy silence, the few answers made me pause, “I don’t know if I have a dream”, “I stopped dreaming a long time ago.” Wait! Really? I have to admit I was sad and couldn’t shake my disappointment, and so I set out to understand why we stop dreaming. I dug in and discovered this phenomenon – We are awesome … we just forgot! And it’s literally breaking our hearts.
After much research and thought, I came to realize that we are wired to claim deeper purpose and a sense of meaning in our lives. And without it we have a sense of emptiness that is seen as one of today’s greatest psychological dangers. In fact, recent studies show over the past 35 years, even though many worldly measures of female well-being have vastly improved, such as more life choices, financial freedom, and better career opportunities, surprisingly women are 85% less satisfied and happy with their lives today. But for some reason we hold back and don’t let ourselves believe a life of deep purpose is meant for us.
You see, when you were younger you knew you were awesome, the right hemisphere of your brain (“why” and “why not”) was in full force, and the dream was alive, but as we mature the left brain (“that’s impossible” or “don’t be foolish”) gains influence, and we succumb to the evil of comparison and the lie of perfectionism. We believe we are either not enough or too much. In essence, we begin to lose our sense of possibility and no longer chose to open our hearts for desire and dreams because we don’t want to be a target for disappointment and heartache. And thus we lose our awesome!
Let’s stop the pattern and pull to conformity of playing small and safe. I passionately believe that each of us has a unique purpose that has been etched upon your heart and you were created to pursue, in fact, the world needs you to! As women, we can encourage each other to boldly open our hearts and pursue our dreams. We don’t need to feel “less than” when our friend lives large. Instead we can be inspired to do the same. Let’s surround ourselves with friends who believe in our unique purpose and who fuel our flaming heart. Imagine the transformative impact as we lead, nurture, mentor, and inspire, through our relationships, to claim our awesomeness.
Mark Twain said it well, “The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.” It might seem unbelievable to you, but I hope you can fathom that you were in fact created with your exact set of talents and strengths at this exact time in history for a great purpose. We’d love to hear how you claim your awesome in your crazy, full, and wonderful life.
Sydney Ryan
Sydney is one of CAbi’s Co-Founders and a mother of three. She is a proven strategic and visionary leader, having played key roles in turning entrepreneurial visions into successful business ventures. She currently leads the largest group of CAbi Consultants who have built substantial businesses all while putting first things first in their lives.
